During a recent senior leadership team meeting, I experienced a moment that underscored the importance of communication, empathy, and the impact of our words. One of my colleagues, who had recently joined the organization, suggested I adopt a different perspective. “You need to think differently” were the exact words of the suggestion. While I value feedback as a growth tool, the manner and setting of this communication prompted me to reflect on its multifaceted impact.

In the midst of our discussion about the complexities of an 18-month plan for a nascent project, I proposed an adaptive Agile approach given the evolving nature of our project. I offered a time-boxed and phased roadmap and explained that I could not predict anything beyond the next three months with any kind of certainty and that we were still in the discovery phase. The vendor we chose had not even given us timelines, and they are the ones doing the installation.

With many of my colleagues accustomed to a traditional waterfall methodology, this was an opportune moment for dialogue about diverse methodologies. In this case, I was, unfortunately, shut down and silenced by the majority, and was even treated to a second dose of, “You need to think differently” from my new colleague.

While it can be challenging to be seemingly the lone voice of an alternative methodology, I firmly believe in the power of diverse thought. This incident underscores the importance of ongoing education on different working methodologies, their strengths, and their applications. And, while feedback can be a powerful catalyst for growth, the delivery and setting matter. Here’s how this experience impacted me, along with some reflections and insights that could benefit similar interactions in the future:

It was a challenge to authenticity.

Feedback that implies one should change their foundational approach can inadvertently question one’s authenticity. Over the years, I’ve embraced my unique strengths and values. They have not only shaped my professional outlook but have also been instrumental in navigating my personal journey.

Each of us brings a unique set of experiences, values, and strengths to the table. Fostering authenticity means celebrating and harnessing these authentic perspectives to drive unparalleled success.

It highlighted the importance of curiosity. 

Before suggesting change, understanding a colleague’s perspective can lead to richer insights. The incident reminded me of the value of curiosity and the need for leaders to invest time in understanding diverse viewpoints.

It’s beneficial to promote curiosity by inquiring and understanding where a colleague is coming from before drawing conclusions or making recommendations. The rich tapestry of our professional experiences provides unique insights and methods that can be leveraged for collective growth.

It had an emotional impact. 

The manner of feedback, especially in public forums, can carry a deep emotional impact. It can lead to feelings of being sidelined or undervalued, especially when it challenges one’s professional ethos.

When given constructively and in the right setting, direct feedback can be powerful. It opens doors for growth and understanding. If we’re ever unsure about someone’s approach, asking questions can often lead to enlightening discussions if not some empathetic alignment.

It devalued diversity.

Diverse thought is the backbone of innovative teams. Feedback that seems to push for conformity can inadvertently devalue the importance of diversity. Every unique perspective enriches our collective intelligence and capability.

Embracing diverse thoughts and methodologies is the hallmark of a progressive organization. Different perspectives are not just beneficial; they’re crucial for innovation and resilience. 

It removed any benefit of the doubt.

It’s crucial to approach situations giving colleagues the benefit of the doubt. While it’s challenging, especially when feedback feels personal, it’s a commitment I hold dear and encourage across the team.

While it’s natural to be defensive when faced with unexpected feedback, assuming the best intent can pave the way for positive engagement. It’s about fostering a culture of understanding without allowing negative behaviors to persist unaddressed. We must strike a balance: promoting open dialogue and feedback, while ensuring every individual feels respected and valued. Let’s give each other the benefit of the doubt and engage in dialogues that enhance understanding.

Feedback is essential, but its delivery can make all the difference in navigating different perspectives. I’m always committed to fostering a respectful and inclusive workplace that celebrates diversity, values each individual’s unique journey, and promotes constructive feedback. This experience has been both a learning moment and a reminder of the importance of dialogue, understanding, and empathy.

Image Credit: agsandrew